NICU Warrior Mamas: Mary

Amelia "Punky" Stasik was born 7.11.13,

somewhere around 3:33 AM. We like to call it 3:33 because 3 is my lucky number and she's our miracle baby and honestly I’ve never looked back at her birth certificate to confirm anything different. After a few days of labor, Amelia was somehow stuck in the birth canal and the machine we relied on to tell us if she was ok had malfunctioned. When I finally was able to deliver her all I saw was a blue lifeless baby. They quickly pulled her away sounded alarms and a team of people rushed in to tend to her. She was born with an apgar score of zero, meaning no heartbeat. They were able to resuscitate her and quickly rushed her via ambulance to MUSC where they had a higher NICU level. As a new mom hearing the word “NICU” was terrifying. Once there, Amelia was placed in a medically induced coma and wrapped in a cooling blanket in hopes of slowing any brain damage caused from the lack of oxygen. I arrived at the hospital shortly after, although it felt like a lifetime. I arrived at the hospital not knowing what to expect. I remember them sitting us down and telling us all of the worst possible outcomes. Most notably, she wouldn't make it and if she did, she'd likely be in a vegetative state.

The following days were a blur of taking turns sitting with Punky, pumping in a private room, and sleeping in the waiting room. Then we experienced our first sign of hope. She had a suckle, which meant she had brain activity. It was 3 long days before this happened and we had our sign of hope. It was confusing and scary and we were lucky enough to have family here with us and even luckier to bring our Punky home.

It all feels like a really bad fever dream now that Punky is older and perfectly healthy…my mini best buddy. Not a day goes by that I don't stare at her and thank everything holy for all that she is. This mother's day there will mommas new and returning spending their day in the NICU afraid for the wellbeing of the most precious loves of their lives

The NICU is a lonely, very scary place. We all hope to deliver a sliver of hope and comfort to these mommas in their most lost vulnerable moments. I am holding space for the mothers sitting in the NICU right now, for the mother’s who are terrified for the newest love of their lives, for the families who aren’t as lucky as us.

I recently met with a healer and he said, “the challenges we experience aren’t for us. they are for someone else.” and I believe that. If we can use the challenges we have faced to help support others in the same situation that’s is what LIFE is all about.